Above and beyond for children with cancer

Family stories

Dexter’s Story | ‘I’m not scared of cancer, cancer should be scared of me’

12-year-old Dexter lives in Mansfield with his mum and dad, Charlotte and Carl, his older sister Lily, and their elderly Maine Coon cat Annie.

Active and sporty Dexter has been involved in sports clubs from a young age, with a keen interest in kickboxing and swimming. So, when a year ago, he showed his parents a large lump on his right hip they initially thought it must be a sports-related injury.

After taking him to A&E, the family became worried it might be something worse when the hospital wanted to keep Dexter in to run some tests. Then, after being referred to Birmingham Children’s Hospital, Charlotte and Carl were given the devastating news, that Dexter had bone cancer.

We spoke with Carl about the impact his son’ s diagnosis has had on the family, and why he’s now decided to skydive for PASIC

Carl and Dexter

Telling Dex he had cancer was probably the hardest part. As a parent having to tell your child that they had a life threatening disease, we wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

“It’s difficult to sum up the raw emotion, the sadness and desolation that you feel as you see your child process this information and the effect it has.

“Dexter cried a little on finding out and we took him into Birmingham to enjoy his favourite restaurant, Ed’s Diner.

He said ‘I’m not scared of cancer, cancer should be scared of me’. He clearly was scared of having cancer, but that mindset became a little bit of a mantra for him as he began the journey through chemotherapy and radiotherapy.

“That same night we went back to our hotel and he wasted no time in getting on call to his friends and telling them about it. If nothing else it was great gossip!

“Having to tell Lily that her brother had cancer was hard too. She had a few tears and was very upset. Not being able to comfort her in person was incredibly difficult as we were in Birmingham with Dexter.”

Dexter in hospital playing chess

How has PASIC helped?

Our PASIC Support Worker has been a help, particularly to Charlotte as she’d come and chat to her on the ward at Nottingham Children’s Hospital about Dexter and the whole situation.

“We’ve been offered numerous trips out but unfortunately we haven’t been able to attend much so far due to Dex being so ill.

“We’ve also had a travel grant to help with extra costs which was useful due to Charlotte needing to take time off work.”

How is Dexter doing now?

“Dex is doing great at the moment. He was given the all clear in February and in early April had his central line removed. Most of his regular medications have now stopped and he’s starting to live a “normal” life again.

“He’s missed the most part of year 7 due to his illness but we’re re-introducing him gradually with the aim of him being back full time in September, ready to have a real go at year 8. His teachers are full of praise for him and his attitude to learning and catching up on what he’s missed this year.

“He’ll not be able to return to kickboxing anytime soon unfortunately but has returned to the pool recently, and he’s determined to get back to the levels required to be able to take it up seriously again.

“We’re planning a holiday later in the summer which will be the kid’s first time abroad. Dex has his eye on Turkey, but as long as it’s hot and has a pool and waterslides, he’ll be more than happy.”

Dexter in hospital with thumbs up

Why are you taking part in the PASIC Skydive?

“The day we were given the all clear, we were obviously a little elated. Outside Dexter’s consultant’s office were flyers and posters advertising fundraising opportunities. Most of them were running challenges. I get out of breath running a bath, so none of them really appealed as I felt I couldn’t physically do them.

“Jumping out of a plane though? I could do that if I could find the courage. So I signed up!

In front of me, on that ward, were kids – from babies to teenagers – all facing much harder challenges than this and doing it with a smile on their face and a courage that they unassumingly possess. How could I not do something to help them and their families through this ordeal?

“If he had been old enough Dex would have been doing the skydive with me and he wants to raise some money himself, but we’ve had to rein him in a bit in order to rebuild his body after chemo. But once he has regained a bit of fitness, he’s looking into a sponsored walk or swim, something he can do to repay a little of what he’s received.

“We had received such amazing treatment and support, it would be nice to be able to help even one other family in this horrific situation, whether it’s a family trip out or just being able to put petrol in the car.

“A small part of me is looking forward to the skydive, but a big part of it is hoping the weather intervenes and it’s called off! I’ve never been great with heights. I’m trying not to think about it too much until the day arrives to be honest.”

Carl will be taking part in our group skydive alongside other PASIC fundraisers on Sunday 11th May.